What is the opposite of control?
The question popped up in my mind after watching a reel on Instagram by @empowering_moment. You’ll find the link to the reel at the bottom of this post.
An hour ago, I would have said that the opposite of control is lack of control. But now I’m not so sure.
Lack of control is the absence of control, not its opposite.
But this immediately brought up another question. Is the absence of something the same as its opposite? I don’t think so. The absence of a yes is not the same as a no, for example.
Can I say that for something to be an opposite, it has to exist on its own and not just be the lack of something else? This seems sensible.
This led me to wonder about where I have been confusing the lack of something with its opposite.
The first example that comes to mind is light and dark. I remember first hearing someone bring this up years ago. Dark is not a thing onto itself. You cannot fill a room with inky darkness. To make a room dark you have to block the light. Dark is simply the word we have assigned to mean the absence of light.
But if the dark is simply the lack of light then what is the opposite of light? Does everything have an opposite? More questions.
If I pause this line of thought and go back to my original question, what is the opposite of control, then I would now say that the opposite of control is not lack of control but rather surrender.
Lack of control is fearful. It conjures up feelings of unease, uncertainty, danger, and powerlessness.
Surrender is peaceful. It brings feelings of trust, certainty, knowing I am supported, and power.
Surrender is not that absence of control, power, and choice as I believed for so many years. On the contrary, grasping for a sense of control is what I use to try to fill in the hole left by my lack of surrender, my lack of trust.
Control is the false filling of the hole. It is a ready substitute for surrender.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8AH0Lygx8R/?igsh=djNtamY4Mm14cTR3