Why is there this pressure to form an opinion and immediately share it with people?
Not just to have an opinion, but to share it with others, defend it
Listening to someone who you disagree with without jumping in with your opinion of why they are wrong is an interesting exercise. It made me acutely aware of how rarely I do this and how rarely I see it done by others
What do we feel when we agree with someone? People can feel validated, reassured, heard, maybe a bit more secure depending on the topic. There’s safety in numbers, after all
Those are all seemingly positive emotions, but if we get them from others agreeing with us I think that’s a problem
What do we feel when we disagree with someone? People can feel misunderstood, unsure, angry, maybe even threatened
People have had pretty extreme reactions to those who disagree with them in our human history. Arguments, fights, shaming, exclusion, expulsion, persecution, war
Do we have to agree or disagree? Can’t something just be?
When I just listen to someone without formulating what my counter argument or supporting points are going to be it’s relaxing and a bit of a relief. All of that takes quite a bit of energy
Does it really matter if someone agrees with you? Usually were happy to be in agreement with someone, the people have so much stuff going on how can we know the reason they agree with us? The reason someone agrees with me on a particular topic could be self-defeating, hateful, fear-based
Just looking at the fact that someone agrees with you and then thinking that this means that you have accord is superficial
We’re just looking at the fact that someone agrees with me on option B is much simpler than knowing their reasons for agreeing with you
Agreement is simple, shallow, superficial. Intentions are what matter
