I think condemnation is about shaming, but not to control the actions of the person being condemned but rather others who are watching what happens to them
Condemnation is driven by anger and powerlessness, I think
If the person being condemned accepts the condemnation, they feel shame and invalidate themselves. If they do not accept it, they often feel anger or condemn the other in return
Is there a third way? A response to condemnation rather than those two reactions?
Condemnation is like a blanket action. It comes from a similarly low frequency as racism, sexism, etc. These actions take one act, one belief, one aspect of a person or thing and then invalidate or reject the entire being,
Once you condemn someone, invalidate them, make them fundamentally wrong, you set up a hierarchy where you see yourself as superior and them as inferior
So what is there to be gained when we see behaviour that is reprehensible to us and we choose not to condemn the person? Anything?
When you condemn someone you aren’t forgiving them, so you aren’t letting go of whatever they did to draw your condemnation
When you condemn someone you hold on to the reasons for why you condemned them. In other words, you hold on to a piece of whatever they did, hold a small amount of their shit in your pocket, to remember why you are justified. But by holding on to a piece of their shit, however small, aren’t you touched by it? Don’t you acquire a hint of that aroma?
forgiveness <—> holding a grudge, resentment, blame, condemnation
I can’t get to where I‘m going if I’m constantly looking back at what they did
But if condemnation is not the way, how do we respond to those who are doing something, saying something that goes against the very core of our being? What do we do?
Is it enough to turn our backs to the condemnable actions and turn towards how we want things to be? Turn towards those who are already embodying the behaviour or believes that we want?
